she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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