What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
