so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize