Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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