But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
you're hired as official boob wrangler
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
