I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Randomize
