after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
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