He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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