I can't watch pbs sober anymore
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Randomize
