I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
