Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
