Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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