I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
