Her vagina should come with caution tape.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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