the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
