glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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