Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
