You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize