I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I just want nice things and good sex
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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