ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
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