If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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