you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
