really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
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