okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
