i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Randomize
