My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
