dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Randomize
