I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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