My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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