break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
