If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
