i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
