no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize
