just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
