Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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