Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize