ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
