you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
