We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
