Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Randomize
