he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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