p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
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