Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
