Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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