Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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