Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
