I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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