is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
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