Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
