The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
