He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
