does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
We left the knife in your bed.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
And then the night went full on bisexual.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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