We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
