smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
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