just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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