just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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