big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize
