you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
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FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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