i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Randomize
