So drunk, too bad you don't want this
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
