sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
