In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
