? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
